bigger and better TD

By christa 6 December, 2007 best of loafe, vol 1, thursday divinity

what the heck. I made loafe my thursday divinity? Please. get out of here. I have the best thursday divinity a girl can ask for.

I will be enjoying a frosty lime eegee in approx. two weeks. You heard me. Not Cherry Pucker, the flavor of the month (for real? cherry pucker? ewww), but frosty freaking lime.

First of all, if you’ve never had an eegees, I feel sorry for you.

For the uncool, the luckless bastards you are, I will tell you a little bit about eegees. It’s a Tucson-only sandwich place with great food, their eegee grinder is to die for, but the best thing they offer is their slushies. These things are of another world, a perfection unattained in any other earthly endeavor. Ideal relief from the blasting baking vagina-drying summers of the Sonoran desert, but just as tasty in the sort of, kind of, little bit coldish Sonoran desert winter (okay a more apt description of winter in Tucson would be a season not so goddamned fucking hot).

They have three constant slush flavors: strawberry (okay), pina colada (my go-to flavor), and lemon (good). And every month they bring in a new flavor. Hence the flavor of the month description.

Well, a few months ago, when I said I was coming home for christmas, tiffany checked out eegees.com to see what the flavor of the month would be…Frosty Lime! I remember looking that up as well, probably back in August when I knew I wanted to make the trip in December.

but then, not too long ago, the powers that be changed the lineup—frosty lime was dropped and in came cherry fucking pucker. why god why? Innocent pure frosty lime replaced by that slutty whore cherry pucker. so unfair.

But in her love for me, and my love of Frosty Lime, tiffany did me a solid. She wrote the eegees bigwigs an email and requested the return of Frosty Lime. Here is the email she wrote to them:

From: tiffany
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2007 10:51 AM
To: Captain Eegees
Subject: Please, please, please!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I know this is probably a long shot…but, I gotta try.

I LOVE eegee’s. LOVE LOVE LOVE eegee’s. I have a friend who grew up here in Tucson and she raves and raves and raves about you all the time. Sadly, she moved to Boston a few years ago and only gets to have eegee’s when she comes home for holidays. A few weeks ago I happened to notice the flavor of the month for December was supposed to be Frosty Lime. At least, I swear I saw that…but now it says Cherry Pucker. My friend is coming home for Christmas and it would be the best Christmas present ever if you could make Frosty Lime the flavor of the month for December.

I would super heart Eegee’s FOREVER! And you know my darling friend would, too!

So, please Captain Eegee’s, make it happen!

Yours,
Tiffany

Now that’s a great letter. A very sweet gesture on her part. Of course, we never heard back. They never changed the flavor of the month. Sigh. I was left to think captain eegees was just a big fat phony who didn’t want to save anyone or anything, all he wanted to do was create misery and sadness and poverty and acne and dry skin. what kind of superhero is that?

but then…then…today, tiffany gets the following email:

From: Captain Eegees
Date: Dec 6, 2007 11:46 AM
Subject: RE: Please, please, please!!!!!!!!
To: tiffany

Tiffany,

We will be making a special batch of Frosty Lime on Dec. 14. We ask that you purchase at least one fun pak. If you are interested in getting one, please call me at 294-3333 by Dec. 10 to place your order.

Thank you,
Captain Eegees
Defender of Good and Light (and delicious tasty frosty lime beverage treats)

can you fucking believe it???? It worked! Not only was it so awesome of Tiffany to write that letter, it actually worked. They are making a special batch of frosty lime for yours truly.

Now I don’t know if this makes Eegees divine, or me, or frosty lime, but I do know that it makes tiffany divine. She was kind of a pain in my ass before, but now I almost like her.

I am sorry for doubting you Captain Eegees. I owe you big, T to the J.

lemon-lime eegees, here I come!

9 thoughts on “bigger and better TD”

  2. Jonathan

    That’s such an awesome story. Seriously, I’m usually pretty quick to be sarcastic but that was just wonderful, all three parts – your love of your hometown place, Tiffany’s very sweet gesture on your behalf & their eventual response. So charming!

  4. christa Post author

    It IS awesome, isn’t it?

    You’re being awfully nice lately, JR. what gives? are you angling for a christamas present?

  7. christa

    Morgan I’m maybe getting the idea you don’t like eegees very much and you don’t think my eegees frosty lime joy is awesome, unlike everyone else.

    I’m just teasing you jonathan. I think you’re nice all the time. except for sometimes when you’re mean.

  8. Tiffany

    Morgan stop talking about your crap. I think it’s time to have one of our little “talks”. Eegee’s rocks my world and so does Christa. I had to do it because I thought at least they would get a kick out of the letter and MAYBE they would change it! And they are making a special batch just for us! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I’m still on my high from performing last night. Sooooooooo much fun!

  9. DG

    Perhaps he is obsessed with a South Park episode
    where Bono and Stans dad are dueling on how many
    “KatyCurics” their feces weighs…..a fascinating episode.