happy whatever you celebrate.

By christa 24 December, 2005 random

and if you don’t celebrate anything, well happy weekend to you then. Cause everyone celebrates weekends.

so, to tell the truth, I am not feeling much holiday cheer. I want to be happy and joyful and triumphant and merry and all that, but it just isn’t in me this season. I’ll make the best of it though, it’ll all be fine and in a week or two, everything will be over. And next year will be better, I’m sure of it, even if I have to kill someone to do it.

I had dreams last night of my Tucson friends, getting a new apartment, and being in some sort of crash with Ry. That last dream was pretty scary. We were on a fancy dream bicycle, going along our merry way. I took a turn too fast, overcorrected, and then we were sailing through brush and bushes and trees. I was panicking in the dream, crazed with worry over the baby, but I don’t know what the outcome was, because I woke up. I felt sick to my stomach and lay in bed wondering if this was some sort of omen.

It would an unforgivable offense on the part of the universe were something to happen to my boy. You hear me universe? unforgivable.

the winter solstice has passed and I did a tiny little celebration of my own, honoring the longest night of the year. I wanted to do more but it just didn’t work out that way. It’s nice to know that we’re headed towards spring. I really need 2006 to be a good year, but it looks like maybe it’s going to start out with a bit of a limp. We’ll see how it goes. I gotta keep reminding myself to stay positive.

I must say, bringing in joy is a real pain in my ass. Being angry, bitter, and pessimistic is so much easier.

and congrats to jonathan and his lovely new family. yay for babies!

19 thoughts on “happy whatever you celebrate.”

  1. Jonathan

    Hey thanks! And best wishes to you, in the hopes that 2006 tricks you into being less angry, bitter & pessimistic.

  3. neely

    Happy Christmas Christer!! I hope it all was good for you!!

    Tell mom Phyll I said Happy Christmas too!!

    *Plans for New Year’s? Would you be interested in coming to Dawnmarie’s for New Year’s? Babies are always welcome!!!!

  4. gina

    Merry Christamas! Umm, you never sent your mailing address. SO, your gift is sitting in my room. It is so tiny it will probably only cost .37 to mail. Umm, ok. Email me baby!

  5. Sean Dwyer

    Merry Christmas! Right now you’re wondering who the hell I am. Well, I worked with you and Gina and Morgan and a bunch of other people at Engage in Irvine, CA. We even went to Comdex in Las Vegas together. Remember when Gina got so drunk that she passed out on the bathroom floor at Denny’s? Oh ho, those were good times.

    Gina dropped me a quick note on Classmates.com back in September and I just read it a few minutes ago. Those money grubbing bastards want me to pay them to respond to her with anything but the vaguest of greetings, so I set about googlizing and here is where I ended up. I see a couple of you have reproduced, so however belated … Congrats! If anyone wants to drop me a line, I can be reached at .

  7. DG

    Does Engage still exist? I couldnt find anything when I searched for it on Yahoo. (Except a finance mortgage company)

  8. celly belly

    merry christmakuah! and happy kwanzaa! etc…. hey christa, dont think I told you this yet, but my engagement is off. Yup! ho hum… it’s for the best, just wouldnt have worked out, but still, it sucks! especially since it happened two weeks before Xmas. Thank God I had my cranberry wine, klonopin and jim croce on xmas Eve. happy new year everybody!

  11. Sean Dwyer

    Yes. We were apparently “highly skilled and dedicated professionals.” Although, by my recollection I was neither at the time. I had just finished flunking out of college.

  12. gina

    Sean Dwyer! My ENGAGE games online buddy! Oh, my favorite memory from Comdex???? (Christa I know you love this) When Morgan caught my vomit! To this day, I have not experienced such chivalry. Tiffany, I would expect nothing less than this from him – you may have to pump him full of cheap liquor, but rest assured, if you start to get sick in an alley, Morgan will keep you from making a mess in it. If I remember correctly, he came to his senses after catching the vomit and wiped it on the building wall. Those were the days.

  13. Jonathan

    I can’t believe you all worked in Irvine. I went to UCI from 1989 to 1993, and lived at the corner of Culver & Michelson (Park West) until 94. Small world.

  14. Pablo

    Merry Christa-mas! My present is…what…my link being taken off your website?!?!? THE OUTRAGE! What can I have done to offend you, eh? Have pity on my poor website traffic!

  15. christa Post author

    Sorry mr pablo. I didn’t mean to remove you completely. I was going to update the link to your new little shandypockets.com, but then I decided to keep it at your other site, only I forgot to make it active again and blah blah blah.

    and I am sorry celly belly. that really sucks. I will badmouth the guy as much as you need me to. let’s give his email address to a bunch of porn sites and mailing lists! hey maybe you should come to boston for a visit. I’ll introduce you to some pretty irish boys and they will love you forever and ever and you can tell ryland lots of exciting seattle stories.

    AND hello and welcome sean! you and comdex remain a very favorite topic of conversation between gina and I. it’s very very fun for me, to torment her about it all. good times, good times. oh and Morgan didn’t wipe the vomit on the alley wall, he kept it and later put every delight bit of it a sealed bag and saved it in his Cherish Box. I’m sure he still has it to this day.

  18. christa Post author

    yeah, but somekindofjohnson is empty! I link to emptiness!

    make it not empty and then we’ll talk…

    also, please come to boston.