Crazy Leap Years.

Today is a weird day. I felt it was important to post an entry, to mark the occasion.

I wonder what I was doing 4 years ago, what sort of fun leap year activities I was taking part in. Let me dig around my old site archives and see what I find...

Okay. I found out what I was doing. Let’s just say it is not a pretty picture. My 4 year anniversary of loafe is not until the end of March, which means I had to dig my way through some entries from a different online journal, one I had before loafe. Better if we don’t talk about it— I was up to no good four years ago.

Boy do things change. Yet, echoing the immortal words of the Eagles, I am still the same old girl I used to be.

Anyway, happy February 29th. See you in four years!

A Movie I Must See.

Anyone in Boston wanna go see Robot Stories with me?

anyone? anyone?

It's a lateral move.

Driving home tonight, I realized that I definitely need to find a way to work the phrase “lateral move” into my everyday conversations.

Me: “Well, it is really just more of a lateral move than anything else Sally.”
Sally: “What the hell are you talking about? Look, do you want to see Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights or not?”
Me: “Fine. But like I say, it is a lateral move.”

I feel my life improving already!

rock superstar.

For whatever reason, listening to Cypress Hill always cheers me up. I have no idea why, but I hear them and I just feel better about everything.

I think that I want a banana-themed party for my birthday this year and I want a monkey and a robot there, too. And a piñata. and a disco ball. ooh ooh and definitely definitely definitely I want cotton candy and a trampoline.

Oh the glory.

Well, holy crap. I am giddy and jumping with glee. Look at all those fabulous comments on the gay marriage post! I was always hoping that the comments section would become an open, intelligent yet funny and friendly exchange of ideas and opinions. My dream has been realized.

I just feel like crying now. Thanks guys!

Hmm, what other hot button topic might incite another such flurry of debate? The new Mel Gibson movie? Coyotes firing Bob Francis? A-Rod to the effing Yankees? Clear Channel suspending Howard Stern’s radio show? The Oscars? My lack of a personal playtime robot?

I love all of you loafers so so much. You make a girl proud.

Helen Thomas.

She is a speaker that we book fairly often. We get a lot of hate mail for her.

Why do people hate Helen Thomas so much?

Much of what we hear are derogatory comments regarding Helen Thomas’s appearance. This really pisses me off. As if the way she looks has anything to do with ANYTHING. I cannot think of a single time that I have seen a male journalist being criticized for his appearance. And there are a lot of ugly journalists out there.

My other rant today is about gay marriage. Obviously, I am supportive of gay marriage and gay rights. What annoys me is that while it is perfectly acceptable, encouraged in fact, for two women to get together and make out and have sex with each other, it is horrifying and wrong should those same two women actually want to GET MARRIED. Evil Evil Evil Lesbians! It is okay for you to be sexual with each other because it gives men erections, but it ends there girls! There will be no love or genuine emotion for each other! Sex only! No love! Love is for heterosexuals only! No soup for you! Come back, six months!

And honestly, those opposed to gay marriage really need to come up with a better argument than the whole “sanctity of marriage” bullshit. There is no sanctity left anywhere in the US.

Trades.

I think that the Phoenix Coyotes are slowly handing away all of their players to the Flyers. Over the past few years I’ve counted 7 players who have made their way to Philadelphia (including Amonte, Handzus, Esche, Markov, Burke, Roenick and Radiojevic). I am mostly happy with the current roster, but I was sad to see Radiojevic go, I liked him a lot. He was cute too and that is the most important aspect of any hockey player. Keep the cute ones, ditch the ugly ones.

My saddest moment was when the Coyotes traded away my favorite player (and boyfriend) Daniel Briere to Buffalo. BUFFALO! Briere is much too good to be on that team. And we got Gratton. Great. Wonderful. Let’s compare this year’s numbers and see who got the better deal. So far, Briere has 20 goals and 26 assists for 46 points and is +2. Gratton has 9 goals 13 assists for 22 points and he’s -11.

What a load.

Coachella

Guess who is going to the most exciting music festival in the whole entire world? One certain lovely and amazing loafe proprietor that we all adore (that would be me).

I could never possibly describe the joy that this event will bring me. Well I suppose I could, but mere words cannot do justice. That is why I have prepared a dance that embodies all of the emotion involved in my attendance of the Coachella Valley Music Festival. (Those of you unfortunate enough to not know me in my 3D life do not get to see this dance. Those of you unfortunate enough to know me in my 3D life do get to see this dance.)

Did you look at that line up? DID YOU? I go to that site everyday and I still twitch uncontrollably as I read over the musicians appearing. I don’t even know who some of those people are much less what they play, and don’t you just love it? Can you think of a more fabulous festival? Because I certainly cannot. I mean honestly...Wilco AND Radiohead AND the Pixies AND the Flaming Lips AND Basement Jaxx AND the Crystal Method AND Air AND and and and!?!!

I die now; I die and go to Coachella heaven.

Sleep Patrol.

It’s time I had a little talk with my sleep patrolmen and the officials in charge of sleep quality. I am very disappointed in their performance. All of them are slacking on the job, letting in all sorts of riff raff, causing a ruckus, creating disturbances, failing to cleanup crime scenes, leaving everything a mess. It is making my sleep time uncomfortable and troublesome and I am not happy about it. They need to shape up or ship out! That’s right! SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT.

I will tell them as much at our next board meeting. Those boys need to be fighting off all those distractions and noises and keeping the pathways of slumber clean and safe so I may walk down them freely to a restful night.

Talkie Walkie.

The new Air album is grand, absolutely grand.

It is a good soundtrack for dark gloomy Boston days, when you think winter will never end but you can feel spring and warm weather just itching to get in the game and hit a home run.

It can’t stay cold forever! Maybe if we all play Air, spring will feel encouraged and come sooner. It couldn’t hurt to try.

Smokes and a cup of Joe.

I wish I drank coffee. I always see them, these coffee drinkers, walking around with their little paper cups of coffee, and I really want to be one of them, be a part of their world. I feel like I am missing out on something. I don’t know exactly what and that mystery is what’s so appealing. Everyone everywhere getting their coffee, putting all sorts of stuff in it, cream and sugar and milk and god knows what else. They have coffee brains and coffee lives and I want that, too!

I also want to be a smoker. All over the place people are smoking. They always seem so desperate and neurotic and since I’m desperate and neurotic, I should be with them, huddling against the cold, puffing away with abandon.

Unfortunately, the taste of coffee does not agree with my choosy palate and cigarettes offend my delicate sensibilities, causing me to vomit uncontrollably.

But I just know I would be a better writer if I were a coffee drinker and a smoker. I just know it. Lousy taste buds and delicate sensibilities. You are ruining my life.

Sexual Healing.

My whole life, I have been fractured into seeing boys in two different lights: the boys I want to have sex with and the boys I want to be close with; I have always tried to combine the two, to merge them into one single entity, but so far I have been unable to do so. I have to have one or the other. Either we have sex and we’re not close, or we’re close and we don’t have sex. I guess the ideal boy, the magical and elusive One, would inspire me to feel both, at the same time. But I don’t believe in such fluffy sweetness, the notion that somewhere out there is the perfect guy. Someone who will cure all my ills and bring everything together in a cohesive whole. I don’t believe it.

With Gordon, I want to be close with him forever, but the sexual desire isn’t there like it used to be, the passion I once felt is so faded and soft now. I will love him always, but sex just isn’t a necessary aspect to that love. It was the same with Morgan as well and why I have avoided long term relationships and/or sexual activity in the past with particular boys that I liked very much, because I knew what would happen.

It just feels like I only have two choices when it comes to boys, sex and relationships. I can be single and slutty and have sex on a regular basis with boys that I do not have much love for or I can be in a monogamous, intimate, affectionate relationship with someone I love but have sex on a very irregular basis. I know what I want. I want the single boy, the single relationship, to focus on just him and no one else. But at what expense? It is unfair to everyone involved. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t have sex, I can’t be in a relationship, I can’t be normal.

Maybe this all has to do with my inability to commit. But that doesn’t ring true. I have no problem with commitment. I am not afraid of it. And I know that relationships are never as fervent and insistent as when they are first beginning. It is the nature of all things—they are always shinier and brighter when they are new. And as time goes on, you learn to love the parts of a relationship that endure, knowing someone so well and knowing they will always be there, someone with whom you can be as crude or crazy or goofy as you want. What happens with me isn’t simply the newness wearing off.

I think what I need is a little bit of sexual healing. Maybe a lot bit. The kind of healing that transforms me into a normal, healthy functioning girl with a normal, healthy functioning sexuality. My experiences with sex are not exactly fairy tales. I suppose we all have our issues so I should just deal with mine and get over it already. I just wish I knew how to do that. Come on world, gimme some sexual healing!

my brush, your brush.

I have been using an electric toothbrush for about a year now and anytime I see someone using a regular, MANUAL toothbrush I just smirk and think to myself that is so 2002.

ugh.

If I have to listen to this girl in my office and her self-indulgent tripe any longer, I am going to lose my mind. I wish I could say “Please shut up and get out of my office before I throw this stapler at your head. Thanks so much.” However, I cannot, so instead I’ll just play nice and nod my head and listen and pretend I am interested in her immature and silly blather.

Michael Pollan.

I find a lot of interesting articles and learn a lot about interesting people at work. We book public speakers for different companies and organizations and often we get requests for speakers for whom we have no information or knowledge. That is where I come in. In addition to several other computer and design related duties, I also do research, trying to track down these unknown people.

One of those is a guy named Michael Pollan, who I have become quite enamored with since I started researching him. I just read a brilliant article he wrote. I have slowly started eating meat again and this article made me feel like I was making the right choice.

Beep.

You know, I used to think those nextel walkie talkie phones were cool. But now, whenever I see or hear someone using one, usually some asshole walking down the street thinking he is so effing cool, I just want to kick him and say “Who the hell cares about you? You’re annoying, your phone is annoying, and you’re not that important. Get over it.”

Also, if one more person says to me “Don’t eat that! Look how many carbs it has! You gotta watch your carb intake!” I am going to lose it. You know what? Fuck off. Go eat your bacon wrapped butter sticks and leave me alone, okay?

So you know, Conan is taping his show this week in Toronto. And I sent away for tickets and but I didn’t get any. Which is okay, because I watched last night’s show and I gotta say it was pretty annoying. I mean, Conan was funny, but the people in the audience were pretty obnoxious. They wouldn’t shut up and they were all wearing Leafs jerseys and shouting idiotic things the entire time, looking like a bunch of morons. You’d think those stupid kids had never seen an American celebrity before. And it’s Conan, for chrissakes, not Superman or something.

I wish I could break myself of the habit of doing something rash or self-destructive when I feel hurt or betrayed, especially by someone close. Eh, what can you do.

Pop Culture

I am a pop culture addict. I simply cannot get enough of it. All the things I love and all the things I hate. My new favorite show on TV: Best Week Ever on VH1. All these different people (comedians and writers and quasi-celebrities) talk about the news of the week from pop culture. Many of the people on this show are the same ones from VH1’s I Love the ’70s and I Love the ’80s. I want to be on that show. I want to be a pop culturalist!

And of course, one of my most favorite magazines in the entire world is Entertainment Weekly, which is practically my bible. With a few rare exceptions, I read that book cover to cover every single week. I suppose I should be focusing my attention and energy on more productive and intelligently enlightening material, but I think that pop culture has its place and I do not think it has to be as dumb and silly as people make it seem. As a case in point, you should all check out this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly and what they have to say about the Janet Jackson-Super Bowl incident. It was right on the mark.

The NHL All-Star weekend is over and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My favorite part is the Super Skills competition, which is always crazy and fun. And the jerseys went old school for the All-Stars game, which I appreciated. I really wish America valued hockey more. I honestly do not understand why someone would want to watch a lame basketball game over a professional hockey game, I really don’t, someone explain it to me. The Stanley Cup playoffs are a million times more exciting than any super bowl. Hockey players are better athletes and our games have fights, fast paced action up and down the ice, bodies and sticks and pucks flying everywhere, and quite simply the cutest boys on the planet. What more could you want?

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!!

Today, loafe would like to honor the two swell-est gals this side of the galaxy, Theresa and Marianne.

It is their birthdays today. Their 30th birthdays. Their scary awful depressing 30th birthdays. I feel both sad and elated. Sad for them and elated that it isn’t me.

No, no I kid!

I hope they both have really good days and that neither one is too upset about it. I wish I could with them both and I am in spirit. My poor girls. My poor old girls.

So a toast, everyone, to Marianne and Theresa and the beginning of the end!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!! I’ll love you guys forever!

I thought about making my page entirely black today for them, in mourning, but then I decided to hold off until MY 30th birthday.

Christa the Student.

Well, I managed to squeeze myself into school this semester. It wasn’t easy and it took some persistence and quite a bit of maneuvering, but I persevered! Because that’s what I do. Persevere. I also bite my lips and trip a lot, but that is neither here nor there.

I am really glad I did not give up on the semester, because my classes are extremely cool this year. I could only get three classes instead of my usual four, but that is still full-time. I have an advanced desktop publishing course, a magazine publishing overview and a flash fiction class. Three things I love the most! I know you are all very happy for me. I am so close now to graduating. It is very seductive. Sometimes I actually believe that I might be able to get a job I enjoy doing work I am passionate about. It sounds too good to be true, but it just might be possible, kids. It just might.

I am in the midst of some pretty big things right now and it is making me a bit crazy. There I was thinking about how boring my life had become, how routine and simple, the same things day in, day out, blah blah blah. And all of sudden, excitement started raining down on me. It is a bit overwhelming, but sometimes it is true—you get what you ask for and there is no going back.

I just hope I can handle it all.

I am so hungry right now, you have no idea.