My new favorite bra.

I didn’t think a bra existed that could replace my absolute favorite, the unlined, full-coverage Body by Victoria bra. I don’t know what it is about those bras, but it is the most comfortable, supportive and flattering bra I’ve found. (For whatever reason, Victoria’s Secret website says it is “new” but I’ve been buying it for at least 2 years now)

But then they came out with this, and it has surpassed all previous bras. It is truly fabulous. I still get full-coverage (which I very much need) and it’s still unlined, but get this...now it’s racerback! And front-closure! I can’t believe how comfortable it is. Racerback bras are really the best invention in the world. If I could marry racerback, I would.

I know it is pretty lame to get excited about new bras, but I can’t help it. Good bras are so few and far between, especially when you have not exactly small breasts.

So girls, no matter what your size, I suggest the new racerback bra from Body by Victoria.

As a girl who used to only be able to buy her bras via "special order", I can FULLY appreciate the excitement of buying a new bra. In fact, sometime in the very near future, I'll probably have to start buying them again. But, for right now, that built-in shelf (in my body) is workin' out pretty good. Still perky, damnit!

I'm trapped between erotic coveting and jargony confusion. I want lots of girls lined up in front of me wearing brand new bras that make them look beautiful and pretty, but I want them to stop using words I don't understand like "racerback." Why does that make me think of Neo in the Matrix when those cables are popping off of his spine, hissing steam and embryotic fluid everywhere? "Unlined" sounds pretty sexy (even though it probably isn't -- less of anything in a bra just sounds fun), but the phrase "full-coverage" sends me right back to Huh?ville. First, the male in me wants less coverage of the boobies, not more, but second, what girl would buy a bra that WASN'T full-coverage? I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes, and not because I'm a closet transvestite (although... never mind). You know, Christa, I'd be a lot less intimidated and a lot more enlightened if you just modeled the damn things for us.

Okay, Schmatrick, I will be sweet and explain a few terms, but trust me...no one wants to see me model anything, especially a bra. Just look at the pretty models on Victoria's Secret. They do a much better job.

A racerback means that the back of the bra crosses over more towards the center, giving a greater range of motion in the shoulders. Very similiar to sports bras. Here, look at this picture of a racerback style.

Unlined means there is no padding in the cups of the bra. Some girls like to have extra padding (lined). Other girls, like me, do not need the extra padding.

Full coverage simply means that it is ideal for larger-breasted women. You can find larger cup and band sizes in full coverage bras. It also typically means an underwire.

And that is today's lesson in Bras.

Also: I hate anyone that does not need to wear a bra.

You hate me?? I take that back, I could probably use a bra.

Morgan, perhaps you may need the "Bro" (Seinfeld)?