12-20-00
12:04pm eastern

woohoo! I'm officially STD-free! This is probably a major modern miracle, so mark your calendars.

i am sure that dumb jesus has something much more terrifying in store for me, because he hates me so much.*

admittedly, I am very not fond of speculums.

anyway.

despite the deadlines here at work (I think this might be my first loafe post from work actually) I went and got my oil changed. And the oil change boys were very cute. I wish I was car smart though. but I'm your stereotypical dumb girl when it comes to cars. I know how to put gas in it and check some basic fluids and change a tire, but that's about it. if a mechanic says I need something, I just nod my head like I understand what he's talking about and say "okay". it's kinda embarrassing. my $25.00 oil change became an $85.00 oil change. oh well. looks like a few people's christmas presents will be a piece of paper that says "some oil and other stuff in christa's car. instead of bitching why don't you just be thankful that she isn't stranded on the freeway and crying".

I like cute boys, though. and I reeeeeely like cute boys named pat who start reading an Actual Book when the oil changing demand slows down and there are no cars to service.

so I've decided that I want to be hugely successful. Not necessarily rich (okay I want to be hugely rich too) but just good at what I do and very accomplished. This is a goal that is easily attainable if I stop acting like a kid and start being an adult.

to feed that I goal, I have also decided that I need a new wardrobe. I need style. I need real clothes, the kind that needs dry-cleaning and fancy hangers. I won't get far dressed in jeans and t-shirts. To me, clothes don't matter. I couldn't care less. But to other people, it does matter and I can command more respect and attention if I am dressed the part. Right? I felt good the other night when I was dressed fancy for our work shindig. I definitely noticed a difference in people's reactions to me. It was almost unbelievable.

so with some effort and hopefully some help from my more stylish friends (you know who you are) I can be a sassy chick with sassy clothes. An image that says: LOOK AT ME I HAVE FABULOUS CLOTHES PLEASE GIVE ME CANDY NOW THANK YOU.

what do you think is the number of people that know how to correctly spell "Israel"? I'd say ten. and I'm being generous.

it snowed this morning. everything was white and pretty. took me about eight hours to scrape the snow and ice off my car this morning, but you know, that's what you get when you don't have an actual ice scraper and are using a plastic lid from a rubbermaid container.

notice my sort of wintery theme now for loafe. this is temporary as I am currently trying to weasel a new design out of someone else. I am really much too lazy and too dumb to make one myself.

*the author would like to remind her audience that she is not religious in any manner and she likes to use jesus as a tool for humor and ridicule, and although she believes he existed, it was just as a regular old carpenter guy who happened to be really nice and stuff. the author would also like to apologize to those who are offended by this and would like to say to them "get over it". **

**the author also reminds the audience that her beliefs do not necessarily reflect those of loafe.com.***

***loafe.com reminds both the author AND the audience that the author and loafe.com are one and the same and therefore all beliefs of the author's are also those of loafe.com. In addition, loafe.com thinks the author is stupid and not nearly as funny as she thinks she is.

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