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i'm in love
with my poop, maybe. 01-27-01 I know, I know. I need to update more often. I KNOW. it's just that I am so tired when I finally get home at night and I've got a zillion things to do and then I end up falling asleep before I manage to get here. so I am sorry and I will try try try to do better. I wish I had an easy way to update from any old computer. but I don't. anyway. I got a subway sandwich today after school and it made it safe and sound into my tummy. yay! i like it when boys I'm interested in call me baby. when they're being all sexy and they look at you and say "hey baby" but not in a cheesy dumb way but in a sexy bedroom way. you know what I mean. I also like "christa baby". sometimes it worries me that I get so annoyed with people. I should have a higher tolerance or something. but it isn't my fault that people are so stupid and I'm so smart. I wish I could hit them on the back of the head. I guess I should be worried that stupid annoying people make me want to be violent, but again--if they weren't so STUPID then I wouldn't want to be violent with them. it's rather simple. my fingers hurt from writing, taking notes. and writing with my left hand is slow, hard and very messy. so I was thinking about giving up on christa's cafe. you know, the lists. because really, no one cares about my lists except me. but someone sent me an email and said "that's my favorite part!" so maybe I should keep the lists? I am easily the best writer in my creative writing class. easily. without question. we haven't exactly shared any of our work with the class yet, but I just know. tonight, I had a panic attack. it was the first one I've had in a really really long time. it scared me. i had forgotten what it was like. and I think I freaked out clarita and neila. I felt so stupid, because I couldn't control it, and I was trying so hard to get through it and as quickly as possible. I think I did a pretty good job, it only lasted a few minutes and I was fairly alright afterwards. but still, I think I freaked them out. I freaked myself out. panic attacks are the worst things. I hope that was just an isolated event. oy. i am so tired. my eyes are fighting me to stay open. I have to pee, too. I better go. I'm sorry loafe I love you and I will come back tomorrow and make it all better, okay?
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