|
I am a railroad
track abandoned, with the sunset forgetting I ever happened. 01-10-01 yep, I should be sleeping. but I'm not. I'm a bad girl. this is snowy boston. actually I am sleepy now. maybe I will go to bed. my friend paul sent me the best gift. a biography of jeff buckley. I am reading it and it makes me sad. I keep crying when I'm reading it. which makes me feel stupid, but I can't help it. my room is not what one would call "clean". man oh man. I got very riled up at work today because we were talking about animals and pets and stuff and someone who owns and covets fur coats was complaining about cats and animals and blah blah and I just got very very irritated and I had to stop the conversation or else I would have said something mean and rude. you know I am not even going to talk about it now or else I'll get all upset again. I am a very restless person. always craving change. it gets to the point where I start behaving really crazy, just to make things more exciting, to not feel so bored. I sort of have that feeling right now. It makes me a little nervous because in the past I've done some really really crazy stupid things and I just need to be careful. I want someone to make love to me. something honest and real and full of emotion, so when he's looking in my eyes and i'm dizzy, falling, and he's pushing into me, I know and I feel, right to my core, and I won't want him to stop looking at me or touching me or moving inside me cause the moment he stops my world is darker, more empty, less meaningful. this is what I want. it doesn't have to be love, but there has to be more than just lust. I'm afraid to admit that there isn't much chance of this happening though. which is okay. tomorrow: laundry. and the outcome of my attempts at getting into emerson. oh yes, and a trip to petco. apparently my cats are HUNGRY and want FOOD or something.
loafe theme song | pitas | epinions | mail |
